


you worry me

by flannelblues



Series: Begin to heal [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Autistic Spencer Reid, Bathrooms, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Panic Attacks, Sexual Harassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26212396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelblues/pseuds/flannelblues
Summary: Spencer really doesn't like bars.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid
Series: Begin to heal [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904956
Comments: 9
Kudos: 255





	you worry me

It’s six minutes past eleven when Reid really starts to feel tired. JJ and Emily are sitting on the edge of the booth, JJ clearly having had too much to drink as evident by her legs sitting atop of Emily’s and her head buried in her colleague’s neck, giggling just a bit too loud and practically breathing in Emily’s dark hair. Morgan’s trying his hardest to explain what’s happening in the football game playing quietly on the cheap TV to Garcia who, bless her, is actually trying to get into it as he points and smiles at the screen, beer in one hand. Hotch is simply sitting quietly, still in his suit (minus the jacket), occasionally giving a soft smile to Emily and JJ or glancing at the TV every time the bar erupts in cheers.

They’ve only been at the hole-in-the-wall joint for a few hours, having caught their unsub around midday. Reid’s periodically nibbling on the hot chips the team brought to share when he makes brief eye-contact with a trucker wearing a worn, blue cap sitting a few tables away from them. After immediately averting his gaze, hoping it was simply accidental and unintentional awkward eye-contact, Reid sees the man still staring at him, who’s this time offering a toothy smile and raising his eyebrows. Wrapping his arms around himself, he turns back to his companions and grabs another hot chip with trembling fingers.

“You alright?” Reid glances up to see Hotch looking over his shoulder, away from Morgan and Garcia, clearly having witnessed the interaction between Reid and the man. A beat passes, and Reid remembers he’s supposed to answer. 

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Just a bit tired, sorry.” He offers his unit chief a forced smile.

Hotch’s mouth tightens ever so slightly and he nods once, turning back around. Reid takes a deep breath, not having the will to look to his right and see the man still staring at him. 

Rationally, he knows that nothing bad can really happen here, while his team is with him. But it’s enough to make him nervous nonetheless. He taps his left index finger on his knee and tries to pay attention to the football game, he thinks the team Morgan roots for is winning. 

As the seconds pass, Reid becomes excruciatingly aware of, well, everything. He can hear Emily laughing at JJ’s drunken rambling, the tapping of glasses and alcohol splashing out of them, the shuffling of stools and mud-covered work boots. He can feel the humidity of the bar on the back of his neck and can almost taste the cheap alcohol, everything's just too much, _he needs air_. He shuts his eyes tight and presses his knuckles into them. He whispers a quick ‘excuse me’ and stumbles out of the booth. Keeping his eyes trained on the stained and scratched floor, he knocks into something, someone. He gives a muffled apology but a large hand grabs him by the forearm. Reid looks up to see the man with the blue hat from earlier, and the smell of alcohol on him is so potent Reid feels like he’s going to suffocate. 

“Need a drink?” The man asks him, and Reid pulls away, shaking his head. His voice can’t seem to come to him right now. 

“What? Don’t be rude when someone offers you something, boy.” The man steps closer to him again and this time he wraps his arm around his thin waist, his hand going _lower_ \- Reid quickly pushes the man’s hands away from him and all but bolts to the bathroom. 

Making sure the stall door is locked, he collapses to the tiles that he just knows are covered in pathogens and tries to control his breathing as he feels the bile rising in his throat. Why did he come here tonight? He never, _never_ enjoys going out to bars. _‘Maybe if you actually drank,’_ he hears Morgan, who he knows always _means_ well, tell him, _‘, you’d have fun for once’_. Reid never does drink though, and he knows why. Alcohol makes him feel too vulnerable, it compromises his autonomy. Of course, that’s never what he tells his team. 

Two stern knocks on the stall door causes him to freeze. But he looks under the door to see recently polished dress shoes and hears Aaron Hotchner’s voice. “Reid?”

Shakily unlocking the door, Reid bites his lip and sits up, his palms flat on the tiles. Hotch steps in and crouches down, looking the young man up and down.  Hotch frowns and furrows his eyebrows at him,“What’s wrong, Reid?”, he says softly. Reid lets the thick silence swim between them before his throat makes a noise like he’s about to speak up but he instead draws his knees closer and continues staring at nothing. 

“Did something happen with that man outside?” Hotch prompts him, speaking even softer, trying to meet his eyes.

Reid shakes his head after a moment, “Nothing happened.”, he says into his arm, “I just got freaked out. I'm sorry.”

“You worry me.” Hotch breathes out and joins him and sits down in the now cramped bathroom stall. “You and I both know that it’s not normal to react like this in the current situation.”

At that, Reid feels his eyes well up with hot tears and his lip begins to wobble. “I know, it’s just-” He feels a sob rising, he can’t finish.

“It’s alright, I’ll take you back to the hotel. I just need to know that you’re going to be okay.”

Reid tries to take a deep breath, but it ends up being more of a shudder. “I’m fine, I just- I get like this sometimes, y’know? There’s not really any reasoning to it- it’s like, I feel the slightest sense of danger and I’m a mess, and- and I- um, can’t do anything about it..”

Hotch inhales through his nose and shuts his eyes tightly. “Reid,” he starts, opening his eyes again, “, has anything happened to you before tonight that I should know about?”

Reid’s breath hitches again, and his tears start to fall. His front teeth dig deep into his bottom lips and he nods his head, once, turning away from Hotch. Something akin to sadness fills Hotch’s eyes and he runs a hand through his short hair before putting a hand on the space between Reid’s shoulders, who, in response, all but falls into Hotch. His head digging into Hotch’s collar and his hands grasping his dress shirt. “We don’t have to talk about it, unless you want to.” Hotch says, beginning to stand up. “I’ll talk to the rest of the team and inform them that you’re not feeling well. And then I’ll walk you back, okay?”

Reid wraps his arms around his middle and nods. “Okay” His voice cracks. He watches Hotch walk out of the bathroom and wonders how he got lucky enough to have someone like Hotch there for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you liked/didn't like!


End file.
